Wait for Nature

There’s something beautiful
in the silence
that exists between man and animal.

And when that silence occurs in the wild,
with man and animal
face to face,
there’s something sacred
that passes between them.

The animal has allowed
the man
to peer into his eyes
--and in essence,
for a moment anyway,
the wild thing has
permitted the man to look at his spirit.

The animal does man a favor, really.

For in that moment,
there is a certain
reflective phenomenon
that happens.
Man sees his ancient past,
hears more clearly the voice of his human spirit,
and springs forward into his memory on behalf of his future.

That is why it is so important to sit in nature.
And to wait for it.

Note to God

So I see you have taken me
beyond a place of doubt.
I no longer have that luxury,
for I find it
true
that there is not a place I can go
and you are not there.

I can not deny your presence.
No, not even in the midst
of my wayward heart can I find
solitude
from you.

You say you want the secret place
--I find that my secret place
is no longer my own.
For you are there.

What kind of God
would sit on a throne not fit for a man?
But there, I find you,
seated on the throne of my high place.

What kind of God
Would unseat himself
at my request? Would take himself down
only with saddened heart
(I see the saddened heart)?

What kind of God
would place himself
second to the motives of my heart
(and do so with love)?

There was a time
I thought you would
entirely remove yourself from me.
I thought (only now I see it)
that your love was conditional--
I wanted it to be.

But now I see
it is I who removes myself from you.

Now I see
it is I who condemns me.

Now I see
you never did condemn.
I was mistaken.

And this is the luxury I no longer have
--to doubt your love, your heart, your kind intention
toward me.
This is solid--no matter what I do.

AAARGH! God is Never Wrong

Sometimes it's hard to be in a relationship with God. You know why? Because he is never wrong. Imagine if your husband or your wife or your brother or your sister really were never wrong (like they think). Wouldn't that make you so mad? How could you live with that person? But we're supposed to live with God. Can you believe it? Worse! He's supposed to live in us! And he's never wrong. Imagine if your husband or your wife or your brother or your sister lived inside of you telling you what to do all the time, or telling you how it is. Wouldn't that drive you nuts? Wouldn't you sometimes want to look into your spirit and say, "get out of there, you never wrong person, because you got to be wrong this time; I just know you are!"

But God is never wrong. It's no wonder we God-filled people are in turmoil sometimes. We're fighting with the man in our soul. That's gotta be tough!

But God is not a man, like our spouse or our sibling. He's God. He's not only never wrong, but he's got more tact. Right? Well, let me tell you something. You know how when you first meet someone, and they want to put on a good first impression so they act really nice, but then after you get to know them a bit they will tell you like it is. Guess where we get that from? Yep--God himself. That's my experience anyway.

Because the more I got to know God, the more I hear him telling me how it is. Oh, he doesn't have an attitude about it--if you don't count the fact that he IS God after all and He DOES know everything after all--that's not really attitude if it is just the way it is. He can't help it--he can say it as nice and quiet and gentle as you like, but it still comes down to the fact that what he says is true and you don't like it, but he can't help that you don't like it, he's just telling you like it is.

You see, I think as we develop a relationship with him, he knows we can handle it that way; and he's glad because the way he dealt with you before took too long and all you did then was complain that God acted too slow (never mind he HAD to go slow to give you the grace you needed to learn what you needed to learn). So I guess it's fine he tells me like it is and it's fine that he's never wrong.

What I have figured out is, the more I love him, the easier it is to listen to him. When I have more love for the thing he is correcting me on--then is when I get mad at him for knowing everything. "You just think you know everything, don't you God," I ask belligerently. And do you know what he says? "I do know everything." And he says it without an apology--no apology in word or in tone of voice. Just a nice quiet, calm, "I do know everything." That know-it-all is in my heart! There is no way I can exist with a lack of love in any area towards God and be sane if he's gonna keep on living inside of me (and he ain't moving out anytime soon). So I got to grow in love with God if I want to continue to have peace in my soul. That's just what I gotta do.

Be a Hero

I wonder how many people struggle with wanting to DO something for God, but if they would just start DOing right where they are, everyday, and with as much passion and zeal and consistency and commitment as it would take to be ABLE to stand in front of some guns as a CPTer, or to tread some new jungle path to get the gospel to some remote group of people, then maybe God could get something done right where they are. You see, I don't think we value the small things we can do. But we are blessed to be able to do them. It would be nice to be a hero; but it would be great just to do exactly what God wants us to do. If that for you means washing dishes, waiting tables, working in a factory or whatever--then do it heroically. Do it heroically.

do not resist; do not force

On my office wall are two post-it notes. The first I wrote down in a moment of deeper revelation. It says, "do not resist." The second post-it I wrote in like manner only moments later, "do not force." I've been looking at these post-it notes for about two weeks now.

Then I was reading in John and one verse struck me and made me think on the character of Jesus. It's a verse that occurs just after Jesus has fed the five thousand. It reads, "So Jesus, perceiving that they were intending to come and take Him by force to make Him king, withdrew again to the mountain by Himself alone" (John 6:15). I looked at that phrase--that they wanted to take Him "by force to make Him king," and I think, how insane! The crowd is insane! Here they are, admitting to each other that Jesus is the "Prophet who is to come into the world" (John 6:14), and they think they have to take him "by force!" If they really believe he is the "Prophet who is to come into the world," they should know they do not have to force him to become the "Prophet who is to come into the world!" They either aren't believing their own words about Jesus, or they don't believe the word of God concerning the prophet who is to come into the world. But why would they even want a king that they have to force?

Of course, the answer is because even his own followers want to do with Jesus as they please. And isn't this the way it still is? Aren't we still trying to force Jesus into doing something, that, yes, may be the will of God, but maybe the timing isn't right, or maybe our methods aren't right, or maybe the location or people aren't right--or just maybe it's not even the will of God at all, anyhow. Yet we try to force him to do what we want him to do--in our time, in our way! But Jesus is not a king who will be forced.

What happened when the people tried to force him? He "withdrew again to the mountain by Himself alone." He withdrew from the people. He withdrew to the mountain, where he would likely spend time with God. He withdrew! If you need something, don't force Jesus, don't try to coerce--even if you see in the word that it's his will. Jesus is not a man that will be forced. Better yet, I love the understated way in which he simply "withdrew" from the crowd. A person need not resist who turns to the Lord.

Nothing shakes Jesus--not praise from man, insults or persecution from man, not storms, angry mobs, not a wooden cross. He stands firm, though he does not resist, and he will not force, nor be forced.