feeding the homeless

Today, when I was out feeding the homeless, I gave a meal to a woman I hadn't seen on our route before. There haven't been very many women since I've been doing this, and each time I see one, it really tears at me for some reason. Somehow, I guess, seeing the men out there is sad; it's mostly sad because you realize what they must've been through to bring them to the streets. But somehow, it almost seems like the streets are an end to some of their worst struggles. It almost seems like the streets are a place of refuge for them.

When I see a woman, it's a little bit different though. Some of the women, you can tell they can handle it. There's this one woman who hangs with about three other guys. The guys are middle aged and she's probably in her early thirties. She's tall, big, with long, dirty blonde hair. She has a rough voice and an attitude, but she's not entirely unfriendly. I don't worry about her. Somehow I know she's fine.

But the woman I saw today was different than that woman. She looked to be in her fifties, though she was probably only forty-something, so hardened was her face. Despite the wrinkles and the hardened look, you could see a definite femininity, a softness that remained beyond her experience. She was very greatful for the meals we gave her and thanked us and smiled.

With many of the people we see, I can imagine that they choose to be homeless. Society is not something they want to put up with and so they duck out. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe that's just a belief I have to make it easier for me to greet these people with a only a meal. With this woman, though, I imagined that she did not choose homelessness. I think she would have wanted a home. I don't know what her story was and is, and I wonder about it. And I'm writing specifically of women; however, in thinking about it, I've seen some of the men are this way too--there are ones who don't choose to be homeless, but they don't know what else to do. These are the ones I would like to help beyond simply giving them a meal. I'm not sure what to do.